It's Never Been So Real

Work and Babies. Both seem to me like an endless dangling carrot. My project at work is behind schedule and it seems that every time a problem has been solved, another one pops up. Such is the life of an engineer. Each problem can be an exciting challenge to figure out and solve. I really enjoy that very thing. However, it has started to feel like I'm fighting a battle that can't be won no matter how hard I try or how good my methods are.

Ditto that for babies.

Whether it is a new Thermal Block or a new baby, I can't keep myself from having so much hope, even though my brain tells me that this will just be another let down. With work and babies, my brain has been right so much lately that it just seems like the end will never come (yeah, yeah, enjoy the journey...whatever. I do that too :o) ).

SO, the point I'm trying to make as I take a break from boxing up all of Carrie's things, is that one thing that makes this feel real to me, is Carrie leaving her job. Today is her last day.

Let me take this moment to let you all know what an incredible teacher she is. I'm sure lots of husbands think that about their teacher wives, but I have reason to believe Carrie is truly exceptional. I've witnessed it in action many times, and just stood in awe. She is extremely intelligent. She is very creative and innovative in finding ways to help kids learn in their own style. Watching her makes me fiercely protective whenever I hear people badmouthing public schools. Her's is a very challenging school with a high rate of turnover and a lot of parents who don't know how to properly be involved in the lives of their kids. It isn't easy, but she makes a difference for these kids, and she's stayed at this school for 10 years when most teachers go to some other school the first chance they get. She's calm and stable and confident and loving. I think there are only a couple teachers who have been here longer, and I know I never had a teacher with such a great collection of qualities for teaching (except her of course :o) ). They will definitely miss her, but we'll miss them too. They've made good friends. They've made her a stronger person, and she'll be a better Mom because of this school. I'm forever grateful. (Like I just told Carrie, "Real Men don't use tissues when they cry!")

I'm distractable, but I'm cool with that.

So anyway, I'm pretty full of emotion right now because of how I already miss Carrie's school, combined with how happy I am she's moving on, combined with how real it feels that a new journey is right around the corner. And I'm excited for it :o)

More "Not Terrible" News

So, word on the street, or in our case from our agency, is that in court today the birthmother "stood by her surrender". Meaning she still plans to place this baby for adoption. Meaning we will get to bring him home. But probably not this week.

Soooo, YEA for good news! BOO for having to wait longer.

At least it's not terrible news...

The judge granted the motion but wants to continue the hearing on Monday to make sure the birthmom understands what she's doing.
So.
Monday.
Maybe.

Tahalas...Shalatass...Halatos...

Let me start off by saying that we haven't heard anything yet. As far as we know, the judge is deciding right this very minute, but I wanted to mention that we did find out from the social worker that we would likely be going to Tallahassee, which is right under Georgia, in the middle of the Florida panhandle.
A quick thank you to the guys at work who are working double duty so I could come up to be at school with Carrie when the call comes.

FAQ

We've had a lot of good questions lately. My Mom had a pretty good list in an e-mail, so I thought I'd post the answers. Feel free to add to the Question list and we'll give you the best answer we can. By the way, today's the day we find out if we pass Court. Keep us in your prayers!

Q1 How is Caleb's Health?

We've seen his health record and he appears to be a healthy little boy. Often preemies stay at the hospital at least until the expected delivery date, but he was released earlier than that (cuz he's so tough :o) ).

Q2 Was he born premature because of any addictions that the birth mother had or has?

We don't know that she didn't have any addictions, but we do know that she has had 3 other kids and all of them have been around 4 pounds. We think she just has a hard time carrying babies. She says she didn't have any drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy, and she did have medical care during the pregnancy and was on bed rest so we think he was taken care of.

Q3 Since Caleb has birth siblings, how will you handle that as far as the children knowing each other ?

We are proponents of open adoption. We don't see anything wrong with occasional contact with Caleb's birthfamily, but that will be primarily dependant on his birthmother and how she wants to handle it. We'd like to try to talk with her when we are in Florida, but we don't know if they will allow us to do that or not.

Qs 4-5 How much does he weigh now so I can make sure I get him something that fits? Is there anything in particular that you and Carrie need for him or want for him?

We don't know what he weighs. He is already 2 months old, but was a preemie. We have a lot of 0-3 month old stuff and 3-6 month old stuff. Between what we have bought and what we got from a shower/going away party that Carrie's school had for her, we have quite a bit of stuff. The only thing we're aware of that we need is 9 month and older stuff.

Q6 What kind of clothes do you like?

We aren't particular about styles or brand names or new vs. DI stuff. Our main issue is that it be modest, which is much less limiting in boy clothes.

Q7 Is Carrie going to finish out the school year ?

No way Jose. For better or worse, she has already sent her letter of resignation. Her last day of school will be before we go to Florida. She does plan to go back a couple times a month to work on the class opera she's doing with the kids.

Q8 What did Captain Jack forget to bring with him when he and his mighty fine crew attempted to cross the channel two?

A Rigabamboo

Q9 A Rigabamboo? Now what is that?

I think we're off topic. No more answers!

It's Not Real Yet

I just finished reading this article.
I think this explains my feelings about adopting our little boy from Florida.
Nothing is certain until he's in our arms and papers are signed. ...and even then it's not for sure. Nowhere does it say that you are immune from tragedy just because you've experienced it once already.

I remember a few years ago when Zack and I decided to look into fertility treatments and I just dreading being pregnant again. I wanted our children so badly, but I was terrified that things would go wrong...again. I was worried that if I got pregnant I wouldn't really let myself get excited for that baby. I didn't want to be hurt again.

So here we are expecting another baby. And I'm excited...but it's not real until he's HOME.
We find out on Friday (hopefully) if and when we can bring him home. Until that happens, this doesn't feel real. Not yet.

Ethiopia, Clarified

We've had some questions lately about how this news will affect our plans to adopt from Ethiopia.

The short answer is, it won't.

The long answer is... (inhale)

...not only are we still going to adopt a baby boy from Ethiopia, but we are so excited about it! Caleb (oh yeah, we plan to name our Florida Boy Caleb, and we may call him Baloo...we'll see) was born August 16 and was a preemie. We definitely don't know for sure, but there is a chance that Noah (oh yeah, we plan to name our Ethiopia Boy Noah) will be born sometime between December and April. So Caleb and Noah will be very close in age, and could be in the same school year if it seemed like a good thing to do. We are ecstatic about that. They will obviously have their agency, but I can see them being great friends, being there for each other in many ways.

The logistics of picking up Noah will be more interesting, since we'll have Caleb, but we'll figure that out with the help of our awesome Family and Friends.

So yeah, we are still anxious to get our Ethiopia referral. We'll have to wait a few months between the referral and passing Court, and going to pick him up. So this 1.5 week wait to pass court for Caleb and the few day wait after that to go pick him up, and the 5 hour flight home, will just help prepare us for the next order of magnitude we'll see with Noah.

Thank you all for your excitement. It is so fun to see the comments (and even the blog stalkers) and know that we have such a great support behind us. We'll do our best to be even half as good of parents as we've tricked you all into thinking we'll be. :o)

In the Meantime...

We found out tonight that things should be finalized in court on the 23rd. Once (or if, nothing's final until it's final) that happens we'll probably fly to Florida the next week.
That means we have 2 weeks to wait.
So what am I going to do for 2 weeks?

Try to give myself a headstart.

I'm going to make sure my house is really clean.
I'm going to finalize everything at school.
And I'm going to make freezer meals. I already have spaghetti sauce and taco soup in my freezer and I plan on making some lasagna to freeze. But that's all I know.
Does anyone have any really good freezer dinner recipes? 'Cuz I've got time to spare now.

It's a Boy!

In the midst of all the craziness that is our lives right now I just realized we haven't taken the time to include all of you in our good news! We were going to be clever and hint around about it by posting maybe pictures of baby stuff and a map of Florida...but my mind can't do creative right now. It's too full!

We found out yesterday that we were chosen by a birthmom in Florida!
Here are the facts about our boy:
He was born on August 16th. (His due date was September 27th, so he's a preemie.)
His birthmom is African-American. His birthdad is half Caucasian, half Hispanic. This would make him 100% aDORable. (I've used that phrase a few times and I'm sorry, but it's not getting old.)

As soon as things get passed in the courts and whatnot (please don't ask, because I don't know), we'll fly to Florida to pick him up.
It generally takes about 10 days for the Interstate Compact to go through and as soon as it does we can fly home! (Yes, this means we will be spending a couple weeks in Florida. It's a shame there's nothing to DO there....)

Yea yea yea yea yea! Celebrate with us! Go take yourselves out to dinner or something!

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AAI Blog and Holiday Project

I've added AAI's blog to the sidebar over to the left. If you'd like to check it out, it talks about what's going on at the orphanages, Layla and Wanna House. It's fun to read and keep up on what's happening where my baby will be/might currently be living. There are some really dedicated people over there doing a lot for these kids. I love it.

Right now they've started their annual Holiday Project. I don't know a lot about it, but I do know they ask for donations and then they use that money to buy gifts and other things like holiday parties for the orphans at all the orphanages they work with.
If you'd like to be a small part of that, you can donate here. The minimum donation is $30.

As Zack and I work to bring our little one home I know we are part of something great. We feel strongly that building our family this way is what we're supposed to do. We'll be providing a home and family for a child that otherwise wouldn't have one. (Though I can't help feeling like we're getting the better end of the deal.) The more I learn about it the more I want to bring all those children home. I know I can't and I can't help but feel bad for all those who are left behind. Donating to this Holiday Project is one way for me to give something to them. It sure feels like a drop in the bucket. But at least it's something.

*Update on our own humanitarian project: We got a list from Susan over at AAI of all the items they currently need at the orphanges. It's pretty big so we're going to chose just a few things we'd like to collect. Everything we collect will be delivered by us when we travel to Ethiopia next year, so we've got airline weight restrictions to keep in mind. We'll be posting more info soon.