Today's Class

Well, the day of our latest class arrived. We're done taking the classes we HAVE to take, and are now taking whatever classes they'll let us take (especially the ones with free snacks, lunch, and helpful information!). Today's topic from 9am to 4pm; Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.

First off, some facts I thought were interesting.
1. Around 10% of children exposed to alcohol prenatally develop the full blown Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). The rest have varying levels of the same challenges known as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).
2. There is a "look" that FAS children have, like, but not similar, to the "look" down syndrome individuals have.
3. Some of the strengths FAS and FASD children have are a significant portion of the kindergarten curriculum, so alot of kids don't get diagnosed and therefore don't get the accommodations that would help them.
4. Alcohol affects the brain (in an adult as well as a fetus).
5. FAS(D) kids mature at an average rate of 1 year every two years, so even if they would be able to move out and take care of themselves for the most part, it may not happen until their late 30s.
6. Time outs used to be given to kids to give them time to regain control of themselves, NOT as a punishment in and of itself. We should focus more on teaching, and less on "discipline".
If you want to learn more, feel free to search the web, or let us know and we'll share anything we have.

Now, a fact that really frustrates me.
1. FAS and FASD are 100% preventable. All You have to do is be a pregnant lady, and not drink alcohol while you're pregnant. i.e., Don't force deadly chemicals down your baby's gullet before they have a working liver (or EVER) and make them swim around in alcoholic amniotic fluid. Just DON'T!

The class was incredibly informative. The keynote speaker was a lady from Washington who has 8 kids at home (6 others that have moved out) and all but like three of them have FAS or FASD, so uh, she had a little bit of info to share... There was also a Panel with representatives from 5 different organizations devoted to mental illnesses and doing whatever they can to help families, children and adults with mental illnesses. Honestly, it restored some faith in humanity and even government. There are so many people out there that we've met in a variety of forums that devote their lives to helping people, and a lot of it can only happen as a result of your tax dollars at work.

I know how smart Carrie is and how good she is with kids, but I just want to mention here that I was amazed at how much of the material shared today was stuff she already knew. The speaker would share some technique for helping kids learn even if they have difficulties, and without fail, it would be something I've seen Carrie do with her class before. No matter how inadequate I feel at times, I gain confidence just knowing that she's there. As an interesting side note, a lot of the characteristics of FAS kids are characteristics of virtually every 1st grader on the planet, so Carrie has 9 years of experience dealing with all of that :o)

Lastly, here are some thoughts Carrie and I had as we discussed the material from the class.
1. We all need accommodations. We all have weaknesses and we take steps to hedge ourselves against those weaknesses. Some people just need more accommodations than others. The important thing, whether you have a child with mental illness or not, is to do what it takes to help them learn and gain confidence. Carrie knows I tend to understand a concept better if it has some reference to sports or tools or projects, so here's how she explained it to me. Imagine one boy who's born and in his tool belt he has all of the tools necessary to be an electrician. Another boy is born with the tools to do sheetrock. You shouldn't put the first boy into a room and expect him to be able to sheetrock a room as well as the second unless you give him a trowel. I can't remember things nearly as well as Carrie, so I have a little electronic device that I use to help myself remember. That's one of MY accommodations. What's in YOUR tool belt?
2. Accommodations given to children with mental challenges are often unfairly viewed as pandering, while accommodations to people with physical challenges are not. Imagine how ludicrous it would be to tell someone who's blind that they don't REALLY need Braille in order to read. They just need to try harder! Yet that is what is often done to individuals with mental illness simply because it isn't obvious.
3. We all have a road map that tells us how to raise kids. Carrie's Mom had a map that told her that certain behavior required a right turn to correct. That worked great! and then came along Mikey :o) She turned right and it was a disaster! The speaker said that raising a child with FASD is like trying to get around Seattle with a map of San Francisco. All parents, no matter who their kids are or what challenges they face, should consider tweaking their map to the learning styles of their kids, rather than forcing the child to operate under your paradigm (Somebody please remind me of this in a few years when I'm butting heads with my kid)
4. Lastly, a quote from the speaker. Don't try harder, just try different. A lot of parents feel like they are bad parents, when they are not, or feel like the kids must be bad, when they are not. Maybe you just need to try thinking of a different way to do things. Elaine did that with Mike, and together they were able to make a pretty good guy. In other words, seek for an appropriate response, rather than an inappropriate reaction.
5. We love how learning one thing can create a wagon wheel of thoughts that spoke out in all sorts of directions and help you in so many other aspects of your life. Learning about parenting is fun :o)

Uhm. The End.