New Perspective

A couple of weeks ago we had a high councilman in our sacrament meeting say, and I quote, "If you don't have any patience, you'd better hurry-up and learn it". If it hadn't been for Carrie I'd have missed the humor in that statement. Being the obedient guy I am, I've really tried hard to do as directed by that high councilman, but it hasn't been easy. Patience is only learned one way, and it isn't even close to "hurry-up".

This last week has been pretty difficult. Carrie (as you've likely already read) had come up with a way to help her have a good attitude. I on the other hand haven't had that great attitude and have tried to figure out how to have that attitude. So Carrie and I fasted for me today, and I'm happy to say that it yielded some fast results (seriously, no pun intended).

In Sacrament meeting it all started when no one was getting up to bear their testimony, which always tugs at me and makes me ponder my own testimony. My nephew, Andrew, recognized the silence and took the opportunity to go up all by himself to bear his sincere testimony. I was proud of him for his example, and for helping me think sincerely about how I felt about Jesus, and the LDS church, and our modern day prophet. Then a young man in our ward who is preparing for a mission got up and bore his testimony about God's love for him and how he felt it this week when he got into his car after attending Institute. That reminded me of the day, in my own car, when I asked Heavenly Father if Carrie and I were going to get married, after 2 years of being great friends, but on-again off-again 'MORE-than-friends'. The answer was 'Yes' and I think that may be the happiest moment of my life. I felt so loved. That moment had come after much heartache and pleadings with Heavenly Father for a long time.

Then a former member of the bishopric talked about attending the temple with his oldest son who leaves for his mission in a few weeks. That caused me to reflect on a day in January 2007. After seeing my youngest brother-in-law sealed in the temple, we were able to sit in the celestial room with my in-laws. I saw the joy in their eyes as they looked out and saw all five of their children, all with spouses sealed to them. Remembering that special day made me think about how sweet that moment must have been for them; Over 30 years since they started their sweet little family.

I thought about how many times in my life I've had to be patient for something I wanted so badly, and how much sweeter the end was when I had had to endure or be patient. Also, about how hindsight always brought understanding and light to those times that felt so dark or impossibly hard. I thought about how, in the winter, I never really feel THAT cold when I get into my car because I know that when I get out of my car I'll be warmed by the heater.

While I don't feel like I know what's going to happen with our family, or how much longer we'll have to wait for kid(s), or any direction as to what I should do, I DO feel like the day will come that these moments will be understood, and I will feel sweet joy at some future time. And right now, that's good enough. I may feel 'cold' now, but knowing I'll be warm in the future, makes it feel much less cold.

The final verse of the closing hymn sums it up pretty well.

"As testimony fills my heart,
It dulls the pain of days.
For one brief moment, heaven's view
Appears before my gaze."

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