Musings of a Future Father

As a novice blogger, I didn't want to break any unwritten blogger rules by writing a new blog before everyone had a chance to read the old blog. Then I had an epiphany; I'm not a blogger, I'm not blogging, I'm writing in a family journal that I accidentally left open in front of anyone in the world who wants to read it.

What the? Why would I do that!?!?!?

Sanity questions aside, time for a new entry. Now the only question is which one to write? How about all of them! One thing I've learned is that it is better to say something than nothing at all. Sometimes something is so important to me that I want to spend a lot of time writing or recording all of the details so I never forget, but then I don't have an acceptably long block of time to devote to the recording or writing. The resulting procrastination compels that thought or event or impression, once critically important, to be forgotten.

Not today Procrastination! I'd rather write a little, and do a "disservice" to the topic, than forget. I apologize if it doesn't make any sense to you, but I think a song says it best...
"Don't let go of this moment in time
Don't let go of things that you're feeling
I can't explain the things that I'm feeling
[But] I won't let go"

Okay, NOW to the entry topics.

It is common for many men to get several months (often close to 9) to prepare themselves for their family to expand. Not being in that position elicits an excitement at thinking that I could be a Father in 3-4 months, or 3-4 years. 3-4 months!?!? There's no time for procrastination! The uncertainty also helps me to constantly have adoption on my mind, which turns a lot of songs on the radio into adoption songs. "One Step at a Time" as quoted in Carrie's blog, "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, and "Don't Let Go" by Sarah McLachlan and Bryan Adams.

I've been praying to better understand Birth Parents, because I haven't felt like I can empathize very well. The Spirit took advantage of a commercial on my way to work to teach me in a way I could understand. I heard the IHC commercial that talks about a three year old boy who had a heart transplant. Hearing that made me think about the joy his parents must have felt at hearing their child would live. It also made me think of the sadness that the parents felt who lost their child. Maybe it isn't the greatest comparison, but it helped me a lot to consider that adoption has some similar elements. Parents are sadly losing their future of raising a child, while other parents are joyously granted a future of raising a child. It is a lemons-out-of-lemonade situation, if you will. Heavenly Father is pretty good at that.

This brings me to the topic I've wanted to write about from the beginning. As Carrie and I were driving up to the cabin to watch conference, chop wood, and enjoy the autumn beauty of the Unitas, we talked about a topic we'd talked about many times before; Adoption. This discussion would have very different results. This time, we didn't talk about adoption as a "next step". It wasn't a "consolation prize" for those who can't have kids of their own. Though I'm embarrassed to say I ever thought of adoption that way, I feel blessed to have been taught the truth by the Spirit and a loving, patient wife. Adoption has nothing to do with having or not having our own biological kids. Adopting doesn't mean we're "giving up" on having biological kids, any more than having biological kids would have changed the feelings we had that someday we'd be adopting. Adopting, like having biological children, isn't just about parents wanting a baby and getting one. Adopting, like having biological children, is MORE about opening up your heart, and your home, to welcome one (or more!) of Heavenly Father's children into your family.