Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Actively Inactive

We have a confession. And by a confession I mean we have 3 confessions. We haven't been quite as inactive as you may have thought. We just wanted to find out which of you were true followers of the blog by not writing for 3 or 4 weeks. So if you are reading this, Congratulations! You passed! (yes, even those of you who have notifications e-mailed to you).
As a reward, you get the confessions AND the information! Not to mention more exclamation points than I've ever used in such a small amount of writing!!!!!

Confession #1: Michigan
In November (exactly one month after feeling prompted to adopt) we received an e-mail about a sick little baby boy in Michigan who needed a family willing to adopt him. Carrie and I haven't put any restrictions on our adoption (e.g. looking for a healthy baby boy with big ears and brown hair with at least two cowlicks...no tiny ears accepted may consider single cowlick children) because we want a chance to be led by the spirit for any possible adoption. Even if it is a hard one like a baby boy who might only have a year to live.
We didn't have much time to decide, but thanks to instant messaging and prayer we decided to do what was necessary to get a profile sent to the birthparents. I took the rest of the day off and as I was driving home I did a little soul searching. Was I really ready to adopt? Was I really willing to adopt a sick little boy? The answer to both came back as a resounding yes (though, really, who is ever READY?). I got home, started a fire, and began writing a birthparent letter and putting together a picture collage (which later morphed into the title block for our blog!). We sent it off and never heard anything back, but I was especially grateful for the whole rubber-meets-the-road thought process that has helped me ever since to truly know that we can do this no matter how daunting it seems at times.

Confession #2: Provo
We got another e-mail in December about another special needs baby boy. Carrie and I both spent the rest of the day learning about the details of his condition and what would be required of us to care for him. We wrote another birthparent letter, but when we finished it, neither of us felt right about sending it. The birthparent had a list of "requirements" and let me tell you, we were dead ringers for every single point, but it just didn't feel right.

Confession #3: Ogden
Carrie called to tell the agency that we wouldn't be submitting any paperwork for the Provo baby and the agency director told her about a little girl in Ogden who was just a few days old and had been born to a mother who had done crack the entire pregnancy. Our hearts went out to this little girl who had already overcome incredible odds, including being stillborn. On Christmas Eve I left work early (in spite of being in the middle of some really cool experiments!) to pick Carrie up and drive to McKay Dee Hospital to visit with the little baby girl with the big question mark for a future. For about an hour and a half we visited with the baby, her social worker, her caseworker, her nurse, and her doctor. We even took turns holding the precious miracle baby. We left hopeful that our prayers would be answered and we'd be blessed with a real Christmas miracle. We prayed that day and night, and spent a long time talking about all sorts of related topics. The result of all that talking and praying was that Carrie and I grew even more united in our quest to adopt. Amidst the joys of Christmas morning was the sorrow of calling the caseworker to tell her that the precious baby girl who had smiled for us the day before must be someone else's miracle. I hope someday to know the end of this story, because at the time it seemed perfect for us. We are confident though that she was another family's little girl, and out there somewhere, is our own little miracle.

If any of you find him or her, please have the birthparents contact us :o)

3 comments:

Allison said...

You guys are sneaky ;)

I'm excited to hear these confessions (I'll admit to checking nearly every day to see if you've updated!) It's amazing to hear how spirit-led this decision is and has been for you. I know how badly you want your little miracle, so to hear you share how you handled these opportunities is really humbling. Somewhere out there is a baby who is going to have some truly awesome parents!

Brett - Rachel B said...

Wow that is so great. I wish I had more words, but I am just relishing your greatness. Youre both so wise. Good luck, per usual.

Jodi said...

Thank you for confessing, it was really amazing to hear everything that you are going through. You guys are AMAZING and the right little boy or girl will be here before you know it.